By Miss Faith
I still perfectly remember the day I realized I would not be a professional ballerina. I was walking up a flight of stairs, and I abruptly just knew with bitter certainty that it was never going to happen. The knowledge had been building bit by painful bit, eating away at my dream of joining a Christian dance company and becoming a ballerina that witnessed for Christ. My teachers had informed me: I did not have the right body. I did not remember choreography. I did not have the natural coordination or flexibility required. In essence, a laundry lists of lacks and as a young teenager, I added them up and found myself inadequate. I was bewildered by God. Why had he given me a love of dancing--of telling His story through my hands and feet--but not the facility to accomplish it? Why could I not have the gifts that others did?
It has taken 29 years, but slowly, slowly, God is teaching me that comparison and perfection are the thieves of gratitude and excellence. It is so easy for me to focus on my flaws, to look at others and see all the ways I fall short as a dancer, a teacher, or a person. Perfection seemed to me innate, like a gift given only to a chosen few. This isn't true. There will always be someone better or worse than me. Instead, a dancer must learn excellence--the discipline of hard work that builds one correction on another. They must be patient with themselves and celebrate each small success that will escalate into something beautiful. And so it is with me. I need not be the best teacher--only serve Him and my students with my best, one class at a time. I can even be grateful for my flaws. Without them, I would never have developed the empathy and passion for students who have been overlooked or rejected. I wondered why God had not gifted me the way I expected, but maybe it was so I would never ever wish to turn any child away from an opportunity to dance. Starting Heaven's Least Ballet has often felt far beyond my own abilities--and really, it is-- but God has proven He will use the least for His good and excellent work-- even me.